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| Forword - by Sarah J. Hallett, Ph.D. |
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Losing someone you love is the hardest thing most of us will ever have to endure. The grieving seems to go on and on and the pain is relentless. Grieving is a natural, normal process that we all undergo after losing a loved one. What do I do now? How do I cope? How can my life go on? Will the pain ever end? These are some of the questions we inevitably ask ourselves during the grieving process, questions we think have no answers.
However, they do have answers if we allow ourselves to grieve and experience the full range of human emotions.
In Gifts My Father Gave Me, Sharon Knutson-Felix experiences the day all of us don't want to think about-the day her child is killed, and years later, the day her police officer husband is killed. But because of her upbringing, attitude, and faith, she gets through the grieving and the suffering and creates a new life for herself. She doesn't triumph over tragedy, because nobody can, but she endures it, she grieves, moves through her emotions, survives the loss, and finds happiness and joy afterwards.
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How she went through the grief process and how she endeavored to heal is what the book is about. The book is intensely powerful, funny, sad, joyful, and inspiring, and it shows the daring to overcome, and the strength, character and persistence it takes to confront despair and summon faith. Sharon's compelling story will make you laugh and cry. It exposes the richness of spirit that can dwell in the most desolate places.
Most of us don't know what happens when we grieve or what to do for someone who loses a loved one. At the end of her story, Sharon offers a Grieving and Healing Guide that explains in detail what the grief process is, what to expect, and how to try to heal from the experience. It tells those around you, your loved ones and friends, what your needs are and what to say and do to comfort you.
Sharon was the first person I asked to join me in New York City to help those impacted by the attack on the World Trade Center on September 11th, 2001. We had worked together previously for several years, helping those affected by profound tragedies, and I had watched her demonstrate resilience and passion for comforting the walking wounded, those who have served honorably in the public safety family-police, firefighters, emergency medical personnel, and their families. Despite her own personal ground zeros, Sharon never hesitated to apply her skill, faith and compassion. Consequently, I knew she would be the perfect person to reach out to those who were devastated by the terrorist attacks. Inside, I also knew she would be a tremendous comfort and support for me. Being in hell on earth, I needed her.
As a psychologist and sworn police officer, I counsel public safety professionals who struggle with stress, face life and death situations and who, themselves, must grieve the losses a public safety career can bring. These professionals respond to horrific situations that most will never see. They help citizens who have been severely injured, assaulted, raped and robbed of hope.
Sharon has a unique understanding of those who serve and the daily challenges they face-as well as insight into anybody who has lost a loved one.
Through her handling of her own tragic losses, Sharon proves that we are not powerless in the face of adversity. She shows us how the cruelest life experiences may bring us bountiful gifts-grace, courage, hope and a strengthened spiritual life.
She shows us how the lessons her father taught her (gifts my father gave me) about forgiveness, compassion, generosity, kindness, faith, courage, peace and prayer gave her the strength to survive the pain and sorrow of her losses.
This book will touch your heart, give hope in your journey, help to deepen your faith, and give you the courage and awareness to find joy after tragedy. I pray that you will be enriched by Gifts My Father Gave Me in the way that I have been in my friendship and work with Sharon.
Sarah J. Hallett, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychologist, Police Officer, Oro Valley Police Department
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